To · Get · What · You · Want

yeah my dad has been getting on my nerves lately. kris and i don't have jobs! what does he expect us to pay with? either way he's saying he's not going to fix my laptop, but just wait until school starts. he'll go huffing and puffing to the electronics place to get it fixed. he's friggin annoying me right now.

straight a's again. i was kind of hoping that i would get them. i worked semi hard to get them, meaning that i worked hard in french and that's about all. the rest i sort of floated on through giving effort, but not as much as i could have. we moved again and the house is much bigger, but at least we don't live in a nasty pink house like we did before. still addicted to rping though. now i dropped the hp site: http://hprevolutions.proboards49.com/index.cgi. Harry Potter Roleplaying site. A very good site even though i think they talk ooc too much for me to handle. then i joined wc: http://wolfclan.7.forumer.com/index.php. Wolf Clan Roleplaying site, SO EVERYBODY JOIN IT! then someone i met through wc asked me to help out with a site they made called allete http://allete.14.forumer.com/. Lands Of Allete, which is a fairy rp site. it's just getting started so if you like fantasy and all that JOIN!!! all the sites have kept me busy. not to mention my french summer work that i'm supposed to be doing. i have yet to start reading and i really want to do that.

eh. today i started drivers ed, and of course i'm in a class with a whole bunch of "ghetto" kids. all we did was drive forward and reverse. i was kinda ok at reversing, but i was better at driving forward. also today i finally got my tv cord back. woot woot. that's about all.

you what's funny, or not funny? the fact that people generally complain about home life and how great a support system their friends are and yada yada yada. however, with regards to myself i think i'm quite the opposite (what's new). in fact, it's my "friends" who depress me and make me mad and yada yada yada. someone said at lunch the other day why am i so mean at school, but nice online. well #1) i don't think i'm mean, just truthful. #2) i said it was because people at school make me mad, and upset, but when i'm home things make me happy. that was the truth.

so here is what i'm going to propose: i will completely change myself. i will act differently and talk differently too. i will try to be completely unbiased with everything, and i will not talk about such childish things that most kids my age like to talk about. i will not say anything "weird" (which i haven't done for quite some time now), and i not get annoyed for petty reasons.

in short, i will be a whole new person starting this very minute, and i hope no one out there will be against the matter, seeing as- more than likely- you are the very ones who caused this drastic change. so i will here no complaints on tomorrow from anybody. i want to do this. more for my sake than for anybody else's, because i would rather conform than have to think that i have all these people saying....stuff..about me.

the race is on to not say anything mean at all! this is going to be hard, seeing as half the time i don't mean to be mean, but i'm being truthful. so now i have to swallow what i want to say and just say nothing at all. now is the time to follow that one rule: IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
Otherwise for every mean thing i say i owe niven and/or robbie a dollar. the rules are specific (kinda) so hopefully i never have to pay either of them. i'm going to try really hard for this one guys.

i memorized my whole monologue now!! yes. i feel like putting it all here, but i don't think that anyone will really want to read it. all i know is that i memorzied the whole 26 line shakespearean monologue. i do mess up on the latter part of it though, and the way i talk makes it hard to say some words clearly but you can understand what i'm saying. yeah!! hopefully i can remember it all tomorrow.

i thought all of this on my bus ride home, because of somethings that happened at school today.this is what i think:

a lie is beautiful because it tells us everything we want to hear. the truth is ugly otherwise it wouldn't be the truth. it would be a lie. the Truth is what is hidden behind truth (the rose behind the thorns you could say). the Truth is also beautidul, but it makes us happy because it is wisdom. whereas a beautiful lie just makes us relieved and guilty

it died.or at least i pronounced it dead as of 6:56pm today. too bad for it. it was a good fish.....actually no, it was quite annoying. i wanted sharika to come and get it but she wouldn't. shows her to get her fish next time doesn't it.

seriously. right now i am.....not good. i just want to scream because everyone is being stupid. really stupid. i mean come on. they say i'm weird. WEIRD! i may be eccentric (as i like to call it), unique, individual, creative, but weird? i take offense to that. if you even cared to get to know me then you would know i'm not being weird. i'm just acting out. that is me acting out. trying to get some attention.
ALL YOU *&%$#@ are freaking getting on my nerves. WITH YOUR STUPID ACCUSATIONS!!! MY GOODNESS!! ALL OF YOU NEED TO GO-----..........ok. i will say this. everyone who thinks i weird this is for you. GO &%$@*& and @#$&!*%#! YOU @$!^!*#.
i still feel not good